Heavy Heart

Dear Heavenly Father,

My heart is heavy and I don't know what to do.  I know that things happen for a reason, but I am struggling again as much as I did after losing my boys with why things happen.  What purpose is served by leaving children in miserable situations?  Where is the justice when pathological liars get away with their deplorable acts?

Why is my brother allowed to have his children?  Why is my niece allowed to keep her children?  Both of them have been offered assistance over and over and over again.  Both of them are in the "system" as high risk parents, and yet their abilities to bully their children into lying for them & their pathological abilities to lie themselves has a total of 5 defenseless children living in fear.  All 5 of these children had adults that cared about them enough to step up and do the right thing & notify authorities of the situations (and yes I mean multiple situations that have been witnessed).  And yet, the system has stated, "They are doing the best they can" and "No we don't need to interview the 15 people that witnessed it".

Years ago I sacrificed any chance of having a relationship with my brother to try to rescue my niece and nephew.  That blew up in my face when the system that should have protected them, notified their abuser that I had called.  The only good thing that came out of it is that I was the scapegoat for him for several years as the cause for all of his problems.  At least if it was my fault, he might not take it out on the kids as much.  (Although as is normal for all pathological liars - he has a new scapegoat now -- because nothing could never be his fault!)

Then comes my niece, she's been in the system since her oldest (now 9) was born.  She is an even more convincing liar than my brother.  Things came to blows last weekend when she was belittling her oldest child (who she seems to be the most venomous to) at her middle child's birthday party.  Her parents intervened and told her "enough" - hoping it would stop at least to get through the party.  Instead she blew up and made a very dramatic exit.  After she left a call was made to the hotline (the boys had told family some scary things a few hours before the blow up).  Interestingly - now the story that my niece is telling is that she had to get her children to safety because her father threw a knife at her.  And guess what - DCFS doesn't need to interview any of the people at the party to find out which story is the truth - most likely because she has convinced her boys to lie for her.  Why?

Why did I have four beautiful boys - but yet Jonathon only lived 5 1/2 months & Jeffrey only lived 2 hours.  Why does Tim have all the problems he has?  Why does Chris struggle with school - even though he is a very smart person.  Why does my beautiful adopted daughter have to have the physical and emotional issues she has?  And now it appears that her biological mother had a premature baby some time recently.  Why?  Is she any better prepared to be a parent now than she was 6 years ago?  I hope so, but she is still unemployed, with a different baby daddy & according to her family unstable.  Why did Darwin's cousin lose a beautiful baby girl 6 years ago & now almost lost her baby this week (thankfully she was delivered early and is looking good) - but why?

I don't understand why children have to suffer?  And I don't understand what they are supposed to learn and what I am supposed to learn?  Is the lesson I am supposed to learn to stop caring?